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Am I Broken

by meadowhip

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about

Moody, provocative and wry, meadowhip’s new single “Am I Broken” is a quippy reflection on what it’s like to be “the problematic one” in any intimate relationship.

Am I Broken grooves seductively with hypnotic bass lines, audacious keys, and lo-fi/hip hop inspired beats. Powered by alt-pop and R&B hooks and meadowhip’s emotive vocals, the track is supported by layers of luscious, airy harmonies and punctuated with hints of shimmering guitar and 1940’s-inspired trumpet played by Sydney’s Tommy Gun.

Originating in a group songwriting retreat with Sydney’s hub for emerging artists, The Artist Studio, and produced by neo-soul sweetheart Chelsea Warner, the song started as a universal commentary on bringing baggage to our relationships.

“When [Australiana folk artist] Suzi showed us her idea for the first verse, I thought it was so vulnerable and elegant and I figured we’d end up with a beautiful, mournful type of song. But the longer I sat with it the more I thought - I can squeeze a bit of humour into this, I can make it mine.”

The song is a deeply human yet light-hearted acknowledgement of the impact that someone’s character flaws and bad behaviour can have on their relationships. With lyrics like “So self-righteous | Always in crisis | Does anybody wanna guess why I’m like this?” Am I Broken is brooding and brimming with self-analysis, but also heavily stamped with meadowhip’s trademark self-deprecation and sarcasm.

“This song is about owning your mess and your part in the breakdown of your relationships, and finding a bit of comedy in it all. Am I broken? Indeed I am, a lot of the time, and I mean, who isn’t? But surely admitting to your flaws is almost as good as not having any, right?”

lyrics

I watched you walk away
I watched you walk away from me
Mmmmm
I think that you were right
I think that you were right to leave
Ohhh

And I didn’t think I’d fucked up at the time
I thought that what I did was so benign
And I thought you’d take it in your stride

But now that I’ve had time to agonise
I can see that I have crossed a line
And I can’t figure out why I can’t apologise

Am I broken? Oh yes
I’m a whole damn mess
And I've been tryna do better
But I never had my shit together

Am I broken? Oh yes
Calamity made flesh
And I’ve been this way forever
So am I broken?
Fuck yes, fuck yes

Such an effort, always jealous
My paranoia will leave you breathless
Mmmm
So self-righteous, always in crisis
Does anybody wanna guess why I am like this?
Oohhh

And I’m the one who starts the fights
And I know that I made you cry
But are you really mystified, don’t act like you’re surprised

Am I broken? Oh yes
I’m a whole damn mess
And I've been tryna do better
But I never had my shit together

Am I broken? Oh yes
Calamity made flesh
And I’ve been this way forever
So am I broken?
Fuck yes, fuck yes

Am I broken? (Aaah-ahh)
Am I broken? (Aaah-ahh)
Am I broken? (Aaah-ahh)
Am I broken? (Aaah-ahh)

credits

released August 17, 2022
Written by Cara Walkam, Chelsea Warner, Suzannah Yaghmoor, Chelsea Knop, Lucinda Edwards, Zofia Bukala
Performed by meadowhip
Trumpet by Tom Smithson
Produced and mixed by Chelsea Warner
Mastered by Kelly Hibbert

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about

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meadowhip Wollongong, Australia

meadowhip is the solo project of musician-poet Cara Walkam. Influenced by artists like Solange, Tame Impala and Frank Ocean, meadowhip fuses introspective and irreverent lyrics with pop melodies and elements of woozy alt-R&B, soul and jazz. meadowhip is an exploration of self and society from Cara’s perspective. She says, “I’m here to discuss the big three - capitalism, patriarchy, and myself.” ... more

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